Money is not everything. There’s MasterCard & Visa.  

One should love animals. They are so tasty.  
 
Save water. Shower with your girlfriend.  
 
Love the neighbor. But don't get caught.  
 
Behind every successful man, there is a woman. And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.  
 
Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.  
 
The wise never marry, And when they marry they become otherwise.  
 
Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives.  
 
Never put off the work till tomorrow what you can put off today.  
 
Love is photogenic. It needs darkness to develop.  
 
Children in backseats cause accidents. Accidents in backseats cause children.  
 
Your future depends on your dreams, so go to sleep.  

There should be a better way to start a day than waking up every morning.

 

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take the risk?   
 
Work fascinates me—I can look at it for hours!   
 
God made relatives; Thank God we can choose our friends.  
 
When two's company, three's the result!  
 
A dress is like a barbed fence. It protects the premises without restricting the view.  
 
The more you learn, the more you know, the more you know, and the more you forget. The more you forget, the less you know. So why bother to learn.  

Please translate the following sentences into English,

人之初， At the beginning of life,
性本善。 sex is good.
性相近， Basically, sex is nearly all the same in nature.
习相远。 But it depends on how the way you do it.
苟不教， If you do not practice all the time,
性乃迁。 sex will leave you.
教之道， During the way of learning it,
贵以专。 the successful key is to make love with only one person.
昔孟母， Previously, a great mother named Mrs. Mon
择邻处。 chose her neighbour to avoid bad sex influence.
子不学， She taught her son that "if you doesn't study hard,
断机杼。 your dick will become useless and broken."
窦燕山， A famous person called Dou,
有义方。 owned a very effective exciting medicine.
教五子， All his five sons took it,
名俱扬。 then their sexual ability became well-known.
养不教， If anyone who have children but they don't know how to do it,
父之过。 it is all the father's fault.
教不严， If they have lots of problems in doing it,
师之惰。 their teacher must be too lazy in telling them the details on sex.
子不学， If you refuse to learn sex,
非所宜。 that should be a big mistake.
幼不学， If you don't learn it in childhood,
老何为。 you will lose your ability when aged.
玉不琢， If you don't exercise your dick,
不成器。 it won't become hard and strong.
人不学， People who don't learn sex,
不知义。 their life will become meaningless...